Far far away

Dined out with Mum and some people from an Entertaining Org. The eldest among them is only 30. They are all male. They know how to joke. We had some good jokes over there. The guy who is older than me 2 years appeared to be an interesting one. The way he talks is rough and so funny that nobody can really resist from laughing and admiring his charm.

Just not my type.

Will never be.

Wonder what I am made of.

Uyên đang xem phim. Trên bộ phim có cái gì đó. Nó hỏi, "Tại sao lại tức giận vậy khi không còn yêu nữa?" Tôi nói ngay, "Ích kỷ."

Somebody sends me a text. Wonder who. I've just changed my number. Not many people know this one. I'm running

away

from what?

I don't know...

Tại sao?

I need a stronger cause. But, for what?

Cuộc sống của em không cần sự tồn tại của tôi. Rồi thời gian sẽ minh chứng điều đó thôi...

I have no where else to go

so I come here

S.M hasn't replied my email yet.
And I have tried to ignore you but I just can't. I know what you are trying to do now, and I really think that you should do it. Nonetheless, a part of my human self is hurt, damn badly, upon the bitter truth.

Right now, I feel so weak and useless. For then, I hope that I can be stronger. Yet, it seems to impossible. It just seems.

Và khi tôi muốn khóc. Tôi không khóc được vì nước mắt đã dán niêm phong. For now.
Nước mắt không ra ngoài, chúng chảy ngược vào tim. Chúng bén như những ngọn lao. Are you hurt? I know you are. I cannot feel my own pains, why do your illusive pains appear so real to me? Why?

I should not think of you any longer. BUT I KNOW YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF!
How can I ignore it? BUT I CANNOT DO EVEN A THING FOR YOU!
So, knowing for what, I really really wish to be STUPID.

And it's not even peaceful, my pain.
You have successfully humanised me, don't you feel happy?
I want to hold you and slap you at the same time.
Damn thee.

Damn me.